Consider this scenario: you meet someone, a friend, a colleague, a parent, an acquaintance or your romantic partner. After meeting them for a short while, you feel exhausted, like your energy is draining and you are reaching your higher end of you emotional capacity.
These are the kind of people known as “energy vampires”.
You know how a vampire feeds off your blood? Well, these people feed on your emotional or psychic energy! Does it make sense why you feel so fatigued or depressed after a short interaction with certain people?
Are you thinking why would someone be so toxic to us? Well, it is not that they enjoy consuming our energy. It is just that they have certain unresolved, inner issues of their own and they believe depleting you will find them a solution – which is, obviously, not the case!
Being the compassionate, empathetic and highly benevolent person that you are, you automatically become a magnet to these kinds of people. Yes, you may resent them for straining you but you need to understand they can’t really help it. These energy vampires are simply finding a way to resolve their inner conflict. But since they can be detrimental to your own well-being, you need to know when to draw the line.
Knowing which kind you meet will help deal with them. Here are the 6 kinds of energy vampires you will possibly meet in your life:
1. The Victim or Martyr Type
These kind of vampires feed on your guilt. They are low on self-esteem and, without constant social approval and likability, they feel unworthy and unacceptable, which they then try resolving by siphoning your energy. The Victims/Martyrs are habitual of blaming others for their sufferings.
How to restore your energy: Look for the self-pity cues, for example, when they start telling how horrible their day was, and do not fall prey. You need to limit your interaction with these people.
2. The Narcissist Vampire
Here’s a gist of what goes in the unconscious mind of a narcissist vampire: “Me first, you second”. It is exactly how they will make you feel as well, constantly trying to get you to feed their egos by putting themselves first. Narcissist vampires do not carry empathy nor do they have genuine interest in you. It is all about them and you are likely to feel disempowered around them.
How to restore your energy: Try cutting them off and, if it isn’t possible, have restricted contact. Also, if it’s a work environment, try showing them how your requests satisfy their self-interest.
3. The Dominator Vampire
On the inside, they are very insecure and weak. It is why they compensate for these feelings of inferiority by intimidating you and dominating you. They see the world in black and white, have rigid beliefs and display characteristics of an alpha male or female.
How to restore your energy: Agree to disagree. You need to realize they dominate because they fear being dominated. So, you practice assertiveness whenever limiting contact with them is out of option.
4. The Melodramatic Vampire
One phrase suffices describing these kinds of people: drama queens! They look for reasons to create fuss in an attempt to escape their dark, underlying emptiness. These dramas make them feel victimized, attracting love and attention. Plus, the negative emotions they feed off are addictive!
How to restore your energy: Say ‘no’ to siding when they are staging a drama. Attend to the triggers that make you want to get involved and be vigilant! Distance yourself.
5. The Judgmental Vampire
You know how certain people have a tendency to project their shortcomings onto others? It is exactly what Judgmental vampires do. They pick on others in order to make themselves feel better. Making you feel small and pathetic boosts their ego.
How to restore your energy: You need to keep in mind that their comments about you are reflection of what they feel about themselves and that true self-worth comes from within. Do not take them personally and be nice to them – it really puts them off!
6. The Innocent Vampire
Not every vampire is malicious. They are people who genuinely need help, such as a child or a good friend of yours. These people come to rely on you for everything and, as a result, they never grow self-sufficient. Yes, it is a good thing to help others out but they become too dependent which can leave little room for your own grooming.
How to restore your energy: Being compassionate is a virtue but you need to draw the line. Be there for the Innocent Vampire but remind them you need time for yourself as well. Help them build strength and grow independent and resilient.